Seduction in the Dark
“Seymour told me to shine my shoes. I was furious. The studio audience were all morons, the announcer was a moron, the sponsors were morons, and I just damn well wasn’t going to shine my shoes for them. I said they couldn’t see them anyway, where we sat. And, it’s a radio show! He said to shine them anyway. He said to shine them for the Fat Lady. I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, but he had a very Seymour look on his face, and so I did it. He never did tell me who the Fat Lady was, but I shined my shoes for the Fat Lady every time I ever went on the air again. This terribly clear, clear picture of the Fat Lady formed in my mind. I had her sitting on this porch all day, swatting flies, with her radio going full-blast from morning till night. I figured the heat was terrible, and she probably had cancer, and – I don’t know. Anyway, it came to seem goddamn clear why Seymour wanted me to shine my shoes when I went on the air. It made sense.”
-Excerpt from Franny and Zooey
Jerome David – J.D.Salinger
(1 January 1919 – 27 January 2010)
American Author
Famous for his novel The Catcher in the Rye)
Not everyone gets the chance to keynote a conference. It’s a big job. Batting cleanup. You’ve got to wow them a little in your own right of course, but you also have to pull the session neatly together and hit a crescendo so the Chairman can sum up, thank everyone for coming and wish them a safe trip home. That’s the job. Now do it from a riser in an auditorium for five thousand people. At a median distance of say – a hundred yards… Oh and do it in the dark with the lights in your eyes.
So how do you insinuate yourself into their lives, get a grip on their heart strings and squeeze a little – and in the dark even? Most of us have a hard time penetrating our best love’s focus on Facebook, while sitting two feet away over dinner. But this! This is a real challenge!
Consider that the auditorium is the dinner table “writ large.” There’s another person a few feet away in physical terms, “but living at the same time in their own separate and distinct universe – light years away!” Different thoughts. Different emotions. Different concerns and motivations. Different but perhaps not unique. And here’s where the fat lady comes in. Zooey was told by his older brother Seymour, to “shine his shoes for the fat lady!” Of course she was imaginary! But over time, Zooey began to imagine her as real, and as human and as needy as any member of the family. And whether he could see her or not, she would sense – and appreciate – that he had taken the time to shine his shoes before going to the studio to perform – just for her!
So out there in the auditorium are an uncounted number of people – live people not just dimly perceived shapes – each with their cell phone, checking their bank balance, their flight schedule, their Facebook page, their daily calorie count. And they are hot or cold, tired or exhilarated, young or old, male or female, bored or curious, open or critical – they are human and most important – disconnected – from you, and from each other. They are – each of them – “the fat lady.”
Reaching and connecting with them begins with your preparation. Find out about who’s going to be sitting in Section F – Balcony, Center: B-21. What are her concerns? What did she spend to get here to listen to you? What do you want her to understand about the subject? What do you want her to do when she gets back to her desk on Monday? Why should she do it? Why will she?
So you’re preparing – doing your audience analysis – finding out who they are! You’re taking the time to shine your shoes. Selecting just the right shirt and this, no that tie. You’re rehearsing. Getting the delivery down cold! Working out the blocking – your carefully choreographed movements on the stage. You’re getting the mic in place and finding the switch to keep the pre-speech discussions private. (Don’t forget to turn that mic off afterward…) You’ve checked your hair and the volume levels. The notes (if there are any) are placed just so on the lecturn. You’ve done a turn around the backstage to work off the nerves… and, it’s time! You’re on!
So as you take the stage, you find and focus on the fat lady sitting in the dark on the Balcony, Seat 21. You can’t see her. But here’s where the miracle of true professionalism takes place: All that research, preparation, rehearsal and the shined shoes lets you connect even in the dark at a distance. She doesn’t know why, but in her private universe – there on the balcony – she’s certain that you are looking directly at her and into her private heart. And if you look hard and hold on – the power of that connection will diffuse into the space of thirty or forty people sitting in her vicinity.
So you’ve finished the first sentence and you pause for a second, extending the connection. Then you shift your gaze to the other side of the room, finding another specific seat in another quadrant – another specific person. And the miracle repeats itself. One section at a time. One after another, people are slowly brought together – through you with one another – into a common understanding.
You’ve felt this before I think – at a concert, a performance, a political event perhaps. Someone on the stage reached out, looked at you and got a fingertip on your heart string. Yours and everyone else’s.
Shine your shoes. And take the time.
Applications:
1. Personally
Communication is a Profession. It requires homework, dedication, research and the willingness to connect – and doing it in a lifeless corporate conference room is no easy task. But these are the steps. Prepare. Rehearse. Find someone and look at them directly. They and their neighbors will feel and react to the connection. Then move on to the opposite side of the room.
2. At Home
Without exposure to professionals, children have a tough time understanding how great communication looks, sounds and feels. Movies don’t get it done. Find the opportunity to expose your family to great actors, singers, preachers or thinkers in live, personal performances. Together you can discover what power a single human being can manifest – with enough skill, practice and intention.
3. At Work
OK, so it’s your first Key Note! It starts with the audience analysis. Who is He/She? What’s eating them? What do they believe? Why will they respond? How must you deliver the message? Now, get busy and prepare – everything! And as you get in the room, take the measure of the space; break it into halves, quarters, eighths… Find a seat in each “neighborhood.” When the lights go down and you take the stage, there’ll be a person waiting in each seat for that special, personal moment of connection.
Shine your shoes! The fat lady is waiting!
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