“It’s the Culture, Stupid!”
“The Shepherd does not despise the sheep.”
– Biblical Proverb
“It will be the policy of this organization that to refer to a client as muppet, puppet, crumpet or strumpet, will be a firing offense.”
Friends, it’s not the words, it’s the culture.
If your culture is such that feeling superior and derisive toward clients is deemed acceptable — you have a larger problem than mere language. One that can’t be resolved by a low-level policy language change.
Electricians, Investment Bankers, Janitors, Bosses, Doctors, IT Professionals, Lawyers, Plumbers, Architects, Employees, Auto Mechanics and Accountants — (Have we left anyone out?) — everyone who has clients or counterparts — is likely to feel that life and work would be perfect, if only those pesky clients/customers/counterparts would simply disappear… Life would be so much easier if those sheep would simply stop being — sheep.
Insults, demeaning language and criticism are the close-at-hand pressure valves that we all resort to when relationships get strained — to our detriment.
The fact that it’s done everywhere (or that it feels good — for a moment) does not make the practice right, good, productive or useful in the long term. Disrespecting, hating, deriding, criticizing, resenting or resisting others simply puts one at odds with those with value to exchange.
Here’s why: They know what you’re thinking…
They feel your disdain. (Witness the Presidential debates…) It’s obvious there in your handshake or touch. It’s demonstrated in the quality of your smile/smirk. It’s in the air as you stroll by. It pollutes the atmosphere and finds its way into the food, the interactions, the rituals and everything that transpires in daily exchange relationships. You’re right, they may not know precisely how you see them. They might not have the words down perfectly — but they get the gist. It hangs in the space between you. And in our experience, the thoughts precede and influence the quality of the actions and words which create the unhappiness you may be experiencing right now. The thoughts create the atmosphere, which serves up the less-than-exemplary result.
What’s really interesting about these vicious (perhaps “viscous”) cycles, is that much of the effect happens in your space before a client ever enters the scene. It’s not the client! It’s how you think about the client! When you imagine yourself dealing with people you don’t like or respect, you are forced to “balance the emotional scale” by making them seem bad, wrong, stupid or repellent — in order to make yourself “right.” It’s going to take a lot of weight on the scale to balance out all that mental derision. Imagine how that’s going to tilt your conduct and broadcast itself to the world today…
Many people are habitually critical; doubters, pessimists. It’s no fun flying, working, buying, building, playing or doing trades with someone who’s always waiting for the disaster they’ve been dreading to occur — or thinking of you as a subhuman. Alternately, being positive is also a habit which begins with the mind/spirit intention to honestly serve. Carried through for an entire day, perhaps a week, maybe a lifetime — that lofty intention becomes habitual. You know the truth of this.
As to presentations, negotiations, sales cycles, or national meetings, it’s our perspective that the positive player is habitually more successful than the negative one — if only because people want to play with positive partners. People who expect things to go well, win. People who expect things to be painful, difficult or plodding will also inevitably — be right! So recognize that the first step to winning sales, winning relationships, winning lifestyles — is the singular intention for things to go right! Perception is not a passive or innately accurate act! Perception is instead, a manifestation of CHOICE! Your intention — reflected in your choice of perception — will influence and turn the result.
OK, so — “How to become positive?” Well, keep in mind that this particular sheep can provide you with wool, warmth, and food and if you treat it right, it will follow you home. Who could ask for more? Become the person with whom the sheep may safely graze… It’s the culture…
Applications:
1. Personally:
Try it out. Stop and consider that “sheep who’s got your goat”: Aren’t they someone with your money in their pocket? And aren’t they just moments from giving you some? How on earth can you think anything bad of them? If you were hungry or lost and they offered to take you home and feed you; you’d find a way to respect them. Why not start now?
2. At Home:
Habits certainly begin at home. Getting out from under the bad ones, or keeping up and passing along the good ones is the challenge of adulthood. Consider that habits of perception are part of the home/family culture which can set up your kids, partners, and relations to win with; or to wear down — everyone they touch.
3. At Work:
Individual Players: Consider that your boss, your colleagues and your customers are all engaged in a real life “game” of interactive exchanges: everyone passes along their perspective and benefits from the cheerful give and take — or not. Your choices: Lower the game, leave it alone, or raise it.
Managers/Leaders: “It’s the culture, stupid!” It begins with you. You create it, evolve it, maintain it and keep the organization working on a high cultural level — or not. If the clients are “muppets” in your shop — you’ve got a lot of work to do.
Ya gotta love those folks who come to work every day, those who keep doing business with you, paying your salary, and especially those who attempt to stay positive and manage the enterprise. We’re all sheep to someone. What’s not to love? “The Shepherd does not despise the sheep!”
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