But then, the Summons! Judith! Come up here and deliver your report!

Horrors! To be yanked from the anonymity of the shadows, then forced to stand at attention, front and center: exposed, naked to the examination of the masses… Then the agony of stumbling through the poorly memorized lines, the imperfect conclusions, the looks on classmates’ faces, the boredom and derision of the mean kids, and the confusion as last night’s laborious notes become, in this instant — unrecognizable hieroglyphics.

And there one stands exposed, naked and defenseless against the cold assessments of teacher and classmates, reduced to a mere pool of sweaty nothingness.

The present day intrudes… “Okay, thanks Jude! Anyone have anything to add? Ok, let’s pick this up again with the client after lunch. See you at 1:30!”

An often overlooked reality behind the fear of public speaking is that almost everyone experiences not just one, but multiple painful childhood experiences with standing in front of others — unprepared. So that pre-lunch meeting in the conference room is not as simple as it might appear — standing as it does — on the shoulders of its painful forebears.

It’s Pavlovian Psychology at its blundering worst, as we continually try to educate people out of their fears by repeating the exact same simplistic lessons which caused their consternation in the first place — public humiliation, the mindless rules: “Never put your hands in your pockets! Just look at the clock on the back wall! Always start with a joke!” Oh, and the video screen, coupled with the judgement of a stranger.

We suggest that a simpler, gentler early childhood approach might both excise the early trauma and serve to take the thinking about “Presenting a Viewpoint and Making Oneself Known” to a loftier, more effective and even pleasurable level.

Some considered suggestions:

Communication and Persuasion in public is a difficult, complex, composite skill set.

A more delicate slope is in order when helping people (especially children) to confront the apparently simple but remarkably difficult skill of merely looking at another individual. Add an entire class to the challenge, then join that with composing a convincing argument and you have a formula for childhood overwhelm.

Why not separate the disparate parts? Teach looking first. Then standing. Then telling a small story. Then handling questions. It’s a little humorous of course, but each learning step speeds the entire process on its way. And rather than simply jumping in the deep end, each of us can learn to crawl, before we do Rhetoric and Public Address!

Let’s try and make those first steps into the arena a little less traumatic and a lot more successful — for children and adults!

Applications

1. Individually
Start with what makes you uncomfortable. Maybe it’s simply sitting and looking at another person for an extended period. Find a committed friend to work with you on an afternoon as you start by looking, silently at them, then discussing how it felt; then doing it again — longer! Until it’s no longer a big deal! Then add another person to the group. It’s great therapy that can happen over the kitchen counter — and save on the drugs and hypnosis. As you practice, you become increasingly aware that eye contact has a weight to it — to which you must become accustomed.

2. At Home
The Kids, (and you Parents) all benefit from low stress practice before taking on the full dress class or conference room audience. It’s a service that everyone in the family can provide, enjoy and learn from. Imagine the lift available to your kids as they discover that Mom and Dad also get nervous when standing to speak. It’s a gift to smooth out the rough spots by practicing in the kitchen, then moving to the living room for a final run-through.

3. At Work
The best Boss not only doesn’t want people to fail, she won’t allow it! So wake up to the pressures involved when people are called to speak to the group; and set up a process for the pre-meeting to “socialize the ideas” and let the speaker try out the material “off Broadway” before the main event. Not only will the material and the level of the presentations improve, but the team spirit will become a plus as well!

Yes, even in adulthood, it’s still an arena! But with sloped practice and a team commitment to content and skill development, the humiliations can be eliminated or at least forgotten!