Grant Them Standing

“Locus Standi” is Latin for “place to stand.” In law, the right to bring an action. It is the ability of a party to demonstrate to the court sufficient connection to and harm from the law or action challenged to support that party’s participation in the case.

With the level of outrage and upset passing for reasoned discussion of late, it’s tempting to abandon polite rules of conversation and simply begin by denouncing the opponent! “After all, they have no standing! They are not intelligent. They are not logical! They are not capable of making an argument. They are not really human beings! And of course, they disagree with me!” And all that in the first paragraph…

We’re so busy today “Denying Standing” that we can’t get near having an interchange with a counterpart.

Both Discussion and Debate have Rules of Conduct, by which we grant the opponent “Standing” to join the discussion. “Standing” is granted based on both parties agreeing to play by the rules.

The “Rules”

1. Check weapons at the door.
2. Address the other as “My Opponent.”
3. Allow the opponent to finish before responding.
4. Confine remarks to content, not to presumed character.

We’re not adhering to any of these standards today — not the players, not the media, not the listeners. And of course, we’re not able to get anything done because we’re too busy denouncing everyone else involved. It’s not “Who wins or loses the debate” because an actual debate never takes place.

That’s it globally. It’s also the current state nationally. So of course, it’s very much the same at home. We’re not “granting anyone standing” to participate. In a funny way, “We’re All Winning All The Time,” because we don’t allow anyone else into the arena for a real discussion.

So very little gets accomplished.

If you wonder at the state of affairs, consider that it is exactly what we have chosen to create because of what we’ve chosen to tolerate.

Let’s go back to Locus Standi. (Another way of saying Granting the Other a Place to Stand.)

The Solution:
Start at the beginning: Grant Standing conditioned on Sticking to the Rules.

You Grant Standing to another in order to hear their argument. If you don’t consider them “human, adult or rational,” it’s going to be a short event.

But if you Grant the Other Person Standing to Participate, they can complete their opening statement without interruption.

Pause, breathe, think.

Then respond to the arguments. And Repeat.

It’s an old process, but it works — if you use it.

Applications

1. For You
Begin by “Granting the other guy a Place to Stand.” Try holding your temper and your intellect in check until they’ve finished. (Of course, you have agreed upon a reasonable time limit.) Allow some time to pass before responding. Don’t attack the person, concentrate on the argument. Try this with business counterparts, friends, Red Sox fans, and relatives.

2. At Home
We know these people so well. They aren’t human, they’re relatives! So of course, we attack them personally. They have no right to even exist.But if we give them room, and accept that they have a right to their point of view, we can find room to understand them. And at that point lies the hope of our shared future.

3. At Work
It might be the Games in the Arena. And you might be a Gladiator, competing for your life and career. Or not… Maybe the opponent has a legitimate concern, which would become less wildly important if you give them room to explain. Maybe no one has to die today.

4. In Politics
Maybe it’s not a zero-sum game. Maybe it’s time to realize that winning is living together successfully and lightly, so more of the next generation has a better chance.

Grant Them Standing. Listen them down off the ceiling. Insist on your turn to speak, but resist the urge to attack — and you might just discover that your counterpart is also a human being — with their own legitimate right to speak.

Subscribe to our Newsletter