Interchange

The Sales & Counselor Selling Series

“We know how important it is to listen!”
— Ad campaign for Sperry Corporation

“Everybody is talking at me.  I don’t hear a word they’re saying…”
— Theme song to “Midnight Cowboy”
Lyrics by Harry Nilsson
American Singer-Songwriter
(1941 – 1994)

Ignites – an information service to the financial industry – once polled its subscribers about the sales mistakes mutual fund wholesalers make.  The poll results showed the #1 mistake is the failure to listen closely to identify clients’ needs, followed by not researching the prospect in advance of a meeting.

We agree… listening is a valuable skill in the sales process but, “that’s not communication!”  We think there may be a bit more to it.  Listening doesn’t mean quietly waiting your turn to talk. Listening alone doesn’t get the job done.  Communication is more than listening – it’s about Interchange.

Since 1984, we’ve been using the term “Interchange” to describe a communication style that allows both sides to have a say and leaves extra time to formulate a considered response.  It’s not “one way,” but “two way,” with a series of repetitive cycles. “Hearing your partner out” is the magic description of a successful session when the cycles come to an end and you’re both perfectly understood.  It’s hard because though everyone wants to talk, fewer people want to listen – and even fewer are willing to be touched and changed by what they hear.

Actually, it’s really quite simple, but you’ve got to get out of your own head, away from your own viewpoint to catch on. How? Well, it starts with the willingness to ask tough questions and being willing to hear what you may not want to hear.  It’s being willing to challenge and hold a position – not run and hide.

Interchange is about getting the results you want through and with the assistance of other people; and becoming clear about exactly what action you want the audience to take. What do you want them to do?

Once you’ve uncovered their needs then ask, “Why would they do that?”   Finding the answer(s) to that question will provide the raw material for your presentation, ad or sales pitch.  Now, if you tell me that you don’t want them to act, that you only wish to inform, here’s the big question: “If you don’t want to bring about an active outcome or change in the world, why speak at all?”

To build a presentation (and, presumably a relationship) you’ve got to know and understand what they’re thinking, and demonstrate not only that you listened, but that you heard them exactly, that you gave ample consideration to your response. So that when you do respond – your gesture, speech, communique or statement will be so perfect, so genuine, and so human as to demonstrate that you didn’t merely listen, but that you heard, understood and responded out of a pure desire to serve.

And what happens next? Well, we’ve noticed that when people are really understood — served even — they tend to reciprocate. And that’s how your business grows.

“Now that’s communication!”

Applications

1. Personal
Reverse the flow! Start your interactions with a question or an upraised eyebrow and let the games begin!  Talking is overrated. As you build the habit of encouraging communication, you will learn everyone’s secrets and become a trusted confidant.

2. At Home
Sometimes it’s enough to listen.  But in our experience, the secret of success is in the nuanced response – not a rejoinder that only scores points. Mere words may be overrated, but the nuanced response: a hug, a foot massage, a quiet nod, taking the family out for pizza, or reaching for the light switch…  These responses don’t score points.  They signal that real communication is happening and they take the game to new heights.

3. At Work
Of course, you’re still going to talk and present solutions.  But, are you listening and truly understanding the needs of your colleagues, prospects or clients and, when appropriate, presenting tailored solutions that serve everyone?  Consider: if you’re doing this, it’ll certainly raise the standards for your competition…or leave them in the dust.

Interchange is about two people being aware of each other and working towards a common goal.

It’s not just about listening or presenting; it’s about communication.

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