“The Beginning of Wisdom is the Definition of Terms”
—Socrates
Greek Philosopher who wrote nothing down
but was immortalized in Plato’s dialogues
(470-399 BCE)
What if there was a discipline, simple really, that would direct our communication practice?
Love. One little word. One big question. Whether it’s loving your work, your spouse, that ‘67 Mustang convertible, or even the environment – everyone defines it differently. There! The inherent challenge of communication: Everyone knows the language, but all the definitions differ.
Our insight has deepened over the years, and we’ve come to suspect that everyone on the planet is actually living in their own private (but more or less parallel) universe – sending messages out to others through the medium of words and language. All of us harboring the illusion that we actually understand what the other person means or intends.
When things break down, you’ll notice there’s almost always an unspoken, perhaps unobserved disparity between the two parties’ terms.
Take the dinner table, when the aggressive sibling brings up “Health Care.” Words are tossed around like grenades; “liberty,” “liberal,” or maybe “justice.” Yet our arguments don’t seem to detonate.
Defining our terms – “communication, marriage, results, marketing, liberal,” is key. What if all the parties to our national (or familial) discussions, (as a pre-condition for entering the arena), committed to explicit agreements about definitions – to be shared with all concerned? We submit there’d be more interest and less heat in the debate.
We believe people build their own universes with the bricks and mortar of words and language. Some advice: Maybe pause in the middle of the next disagreement and ask yourself, “How do I define that?” Then ask your opponent (adversary/lover) respectfully, gently, how they see it. Prepare to be surprised at their uniqueness, amazed at their humanity, or even horrified at their obtuse reasoning. Then forgive them and figure out how to share the universe and your definitions.
Words: If we’re unclear about meanings they only serve to separate us.
The wisdom in clear definitions
can bring us together.
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