Candor (by Degrees)

Candor – definition
can•dor (kæn dər)
Noun: the state, quality or capability of being open, frank and honest.
from Middle English, Old French and Latin, from Candēre, to shine.

Ever known someone who just can’t stop telling the truth (as they see it?).  Usually, someone takes pity on the organization, and shows this dweeb the door…

But an organization, a family or a country cannot function without a deep commitment to truth and candor, the willingness to tell it — especially when it’s hard.

Lying to the Leader
Leadership and Management are only as good as their connection to reality and to the real-time mindset of their team.  Your challenge as a leader is to know what’s actually happening and how people feel about it, so that you can correct misunderstandings and encourage an optimum state of mind.  Bad news (and fake news) are demoralizing, and nobody wants to carry either to the boss.

As a leader, your information comes to you through your people, through the media (social and otherwise) and “official channels.”  Where other people are concerned, you have to wonder: Is there “Fear of Rank?”  Will people tell it to you straight as it’s happening?  Or will they soften or shade the report a little to protect or influence you? Will they report in a way that makes them look better — ever-loyal and supportive of the greater good?  Will they shade things to damage their supposed competition?  Will they sugar-coat it?  Or will they give you “just the facts.”  Unfortunately, it’s a different equation with each person.

It’s an ancient problem that hasn’t improved since the time of the Greeks when Sophocles wrote about the issue in Antigone.  Now, in the age of omnipresent media, you can get information instantly — but is it the truth?  It’s hard to lead with certainty if you’re unsure about your information.  To our mind, honest reporting and no holds barred candor are still the most valuable management tools.

Telling Truth to Power
Finding people who are “willing to tell truth to power” — giving it to the boss just as it is, (or just as they see it) is so difficult that you often have to grow and season your own truthful Captains.  “Let’s get the idea that we’re all working for the greater good here, me included.  What say we give it to each other straight? Nothing held back?  Always! And that I reward and recognize people who are forthcoming with greater responsibility and the periodic perquisite.  We can’t make this effort work on bad info — so help me here!”

At first, they’ll wonder about you, and you’ll be tested.  But if you restrain the natural urge to shoot the messenger, you’ll find honest messengers are more available.  Truth will out.

[Now, before a flood of misunderstanding ensues… Asking for the truth and honest feedback is an Invitation to Candor, but many people confuse candor with “spilling one’s guts.”  As a boss, you must establish, explain, and constantly refresh the “Rules of Candor.” As a staffer, remember that the standard considerations about valuing the boss’s time, candor free of criticism, and shutting up when the point is understood still apply.  Choose your words carefully.  State them crisply and wait to be asked for more. In the absence of a request for more, get out!]

The Ethical Compass
What’s operating here?  Our consideration is that the truth has value in that it is only through explicit, shared agreements (truth) that we create our corporation, our services, our standards of excellence and our systems of management.  And, to the degree that our agreements reflect an alignment with the broader culture, our undertakings will encounter less friction in day-to-day life.  (A dollar’s a dollar.  What we say is true.  What we call “Red” is indeed, Red! Our word is our bond…)

The lofty name for all this is Ethics.  (Part of which is Truth Telling.)  This system of valuing truth in larger and larger arenas is what creates our “Management Compass” and guides all decision making: Is it truly what’s best for the client?  Is it true and beneficial for our firm?  Does it honestly benefit our players and their families?  That’s not all, but it’s a good start.

If you and your team agree about the value of truth and the candid people who tell it, you have created a “compass” to guide you in all things, and a team with the courage to keep using it.  Your department, your people and your undertakings will succeed in greater and greater degree….

Applications

1. Personally
One of the most fundamental things people will consider about you is whether you “tell it like it is.”  If you come to be relied upon as someone who doesn’t shy away from tough subjects, your voice will gain value in your community.  If your opinion changes with whomever is present, you won’t be sought out for your honesty.  What else is there?  You have to balance this with restraint however.  A high degree of unrequested truth telling becomes acidic.  Candor too, is best delivered in just the right degree…

2. At Home
Truth telling starts at the beginning.  Encourage it and Demonstrate it!  However, “Wow, that sucks!”  is too much candor! You may have to be the bringer of bad news, but temper it with understanding… It’s not an either/or world, in spite of our tendency to see it that way!  Try this: “Son, you know I love you no matter what; AND, this science project needs some serious work!”

[Sometimes you have to embroider the truth just a little for the good of the marriage.]

3. At Work: Telling the Truth and Getting at the Truth
Telling it requires a courage to get in there and tell the painful truth AND the deft touch required to make it “listenable.”  No, it’s not easy, that’s why not many people are welcomed inside.  But that’s the combination: Courage, Integrity and Deft Touch.

Getting good at the deft touch often starts with selecting the phrases.  You can start by asking for clarification on something: “I’m sorry to disturb you, Boss, but I don’t get this?  It seems to me that… Perhaps you can set me straight on this?”

Getting It: Unless you make it endlessly clear that you want full and honest feedback, you won’t get it.  State your position on Candor and razz anyone who doesn’t hang it out there.  Tease them, coax them, push ‘em.  Then do it again. Then thank them.  Then encourage them again later.

Maybe you’ve got a veteran with a “devil may care attitude” and little to lose… Start there!

It may take years for people to overcome their “Fear of Rank,” but you can establish a culture of Candor — and it will improve and grow by degrees… Be Candid!  But don’t spill your guts…

Dessert:
Holy Night Excerpt – West Wing: Fear of Rank
Heartbreak Ridge – Assessment
“Speaking Truth to Power” – James O’Toole

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