The Whole of It!
The Sales & Counselor SellingSM Series
“So, when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.”
—Jiddu Krishnamurti
As Counselor Salespeople, we often fall victim to “holding our fire” until we “see an opening” to do a presentation we have waiting. We want to “show our stuff.” We want to “Tell our Story!” We all “Want to be Right!” While each of these may constitute a victory, it may be of the short-term variety.
The most mature counselors seem content to “loaf their way to an outcome.” They don’t appear to be “doing” anything. Merely sitting there — listening. But as they listen, they “intend for the prospect to open up and put everything on the table.”
Intentions are not always easy for the casual observer to notice — but they reveal themselves when the prospect seemingly in his own time reveals more than he might have intended, and brings up more opportunities to provide a service or request information about a product he originally dismissed… Sometimes, the prospect surprises himself.
Listening for “The Whole of It” is a combination of firmly focused attention, and clearly (though perhaps obscurely) focused intention. You know what you want to hear; you know what you want to happen. What you have to find out is under what circumstances the prospect might allow those things to happen. That’s “The Whole of It.”
But he won’t tell you if he senses that you’re in a hurry to talk. So, if you’re tense, looking at your watch, checking your notes, mentally planning your incredible remarks — he’s going to know that. Instead, if you’re simply looking at him, totally focused and totally relaxed — “loafing” — he’s going to feel that he has an attentive listener, someone in whom he can confide.
So don’t approach your customer in a hurry, with a locked agenda, or with a secret objective. Walk in, set the stage — and listen for “The Whole of It!”
Applications
1. Personally
So, practice on your friends, family and colleagues and customers! Set the stage with a question or two, allow them “a space to fill” and settle in. Get the words but realize that the words aren’t “The Whole of It.” Much more important is the intention, the concern, the feeling, the reality of it. The words are first through the doorway, but they decide nothing.
2. At Home
Every child has experienced the jolt of thinking they had an agreement, hearing the words, and then discovering that Yes! meant No! or Maybe??? or Maybe but not now… The words set the stage, but you’ve got to learn to wait for “The Whole of It” to emerge… And those kids will do better if you teach (and model) the discipline of Waiting Out the Revelation.
3. At Work
The office (and business) is deceptive. It seems to run on logic, analysis and efficiency. But just like the rest of the world, it runs on a foundation of affinity (warmth, chemistry, caring, human connection…). The whole point of listening to “The Whole of It,” is to allow the logic and analysis to exhaust their time on Center Stage and allow the more subtle stuff to reveal itself. He’ll work with you if he likes you, if he feels good about the deal and the relationship. Won’t if he doesn’t. If you take it easy, there’s time for that stuff to assert itself and become obvious to the two of you. When that feeling presents itself — you have “The Whole of It!”
Listening. Not an easy art to learn. The smarter we are, the more we have to stop doing, thinking, and showing off. It may look like loafing, but the point is to shut up, “let the logic run out” and allow “The Whole of It” to emerge.
Subscribe to our Newsletter
