The Stammer

“Whatever you are, try to be a good one!” — William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 – 1863), English Poet & Novelist

Bob Newhart (comedy and television legend) once had a challenge from a television network official about the extended length of his comedy show.

“Bob, the show is running about two minutes long.  If you lose the stammer (the unique comedy effect…) it’ll come in right on the money!”

Newhart replied, “That stammer paid for a house in Beverly Hills.  Why don’t you re-write a shorter scene?”

Ever felt a little strange when the world tries to tell you that you’re too much, too little, not enough or just a little strange? Too female? Too skinny?  Or not white enough?  Maybe not enough Ivy?

Well, cheer up!  That is the default experience.  The world tells that to everyone. The world has a thing for Average!

Along the way, that pressure toward conformity does one of two things: It either nudges you neatly into your appointed slot — where you stay until retirement… Or it makes you just angry enough to push back and find your special, one-of-a-kind tonality and style.

You work at it, take some lumps, get pushed around awhile, then make a go of it in a presentation and someone says, “Who was that kid with the attitude?”

The feedback is good though, and they ask you back.  Over time, you establish your own slot (call it a niche) and nobody can touch you.

Soon, others even try to “knock off” your style. Word spreads.

But none of that can happen unless you push back at the beginning. And that can’t happen until you’re just bone-tired of trying to “fit.”

So get started and begin looking yourself over with a discerning eye, saying, “What have I got that’s unique? That may be my ticket!”

Both Jimmy Stewart on the big screen and Bob Newhart on recording and television had a softer, “uncertain,” yet unique delivery style, which drew criticism from studio and network people in the beginning of their careers.

Fortunately, they persisted with their unique approaches and became two of the biggest stars in their fields.

When you look to Hollywood or contemporary culture for your model, you may be disappointed — even though that world is full of unique people who made their own way.  There’s a fortune spent on fetishizing false perfection.

Look instead, in the mirror — and help that unique individual find their way onto the stage.

Applications

1.  Personally

Are you tall and worried about it?  Hey, imagine the impact of stepping off the lectern and looming over someone in the front row to make a point…  Dramatic and unusual.  The start of a “Style.”

What if you prefer to rest while you work?  What about a three-legged stool on the stage?  Or better yet, out in audience-land where you can pause, sit, and lead a discussion?  Totally unusual!

Maybe you’re just short…  So, demand a riser center stage when you perform, and you can become the Maestro!  There’s always a way — but it begins with the willingness to show off your uniqueness and treat it as an advantage!

2.  At Home

Sometimes our families are hard on us as we experiment with pushing, first our own boundaries, then those of the family, the neighborhood, the school, and the community.

It’s hard to care for your own uniqueness, while at the same time trying to fit in with the mean girls, that difficult big brother, and the exacting parents.

Is your partner famous for supporting your every consideration about trying something new, or are they the first line of resistance to your full emergence?  This is tough.

Stop and ask yourself if you’re helping to free everyone you touch, or whether you’re putting cement between the bricks.

3.  At Work

Every work situation has an established expectation, a set of written rules, and more importantly, un-written rules!

Of course, if we’re still employed, we’ve gotten pretty good at not pushing the edge too far…  And that is the challenge.

There’s a tension between fitting in/disappearing and standing out by finding our unique “stammer.”  As individuals, as teams, as corporations; our ongoing challenge is to keep it fresh, new, unique, and valuable by speaking in our own genuine voice.

That “Stammer” can finance your home too!

Dessert:

Enjoy this hilarious example of Bob Newhart’s trademark humor.

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