Inside every adult wearing a beautifully cut suit (and those gorgeous shoes), is a remembered little kid, dying not to re-experience that previous moment of humiliation. At the heart of this beast is the deep, ever present human fear of being revealed as a fraud. Not tall enough. Not strong enough. Not smart enough. Not rich enough. Not pretty enough. Not man or woman enough… Ironic, isn’t it, that what we all have in common is this “Insecurity of the Soul.”

So we have “Success Reluctance.” Maybe in business, it’s “Presentation Reluctance” or “National Meeting Keynote Reluctance” or even “I’m the New CEO Reluctance.”

We suggest that the solution lies not in the avoidance of fearful possibilities, not “Safe Spaces,” not in trying to be ever more separate and perfect from everyone else or endlessly striving for more power, wealth, stature and influence; but to relax about it all and realize that there is no security in an insecure world. We are all human, all uniquely imperfect parts of a larger universe — which is itself in constant motion.

So try a more positive solution: Embrace the insecurity — in the amount you can handle at this moment. Take a small risk, and move on. Be as good, smart, open and able as you can right now, and help some others come along with you. Then take a bigger risk tomorrow. Remember, everyone else feels the same way (with the possible exception of Donald Trump…).

So, expand your appetite for insecurity, and soon, nothing will stop you!

1. For You
Break off a piece of what makes you nervous, that thing you habitually avoid, and try it. If it doesn’t kill you, try a little bit more tomorrow! For years, we’ve begun presentation skills training with a simple exercise in “Looking.” Nobody’s comfortable at first, but nobody fails. Go to step two… It’s the same for baking bread, buying a car, learning to play the piano — a thousand small acts of self-expansion.

2. For the Family
It’s all about getting the kids to try a bite — one bite! Then another tomorrow! Slowly, slowly we build larger and larger territories where we feel comfortable. The secret is moving into our insecurities instead of retreating! So take them to an Art Museum, then a Martial Arts School, then a Language Class, then Dance. Oh, and if it works for the kids, it might work for the parents too… So try that better glass of wine this weekend and see if it’s any good, while you expand your appetite for experimentation!

3. For the Workplace
Offices, Farms, Agencies, Studios and Salons — places where people work together — can all get stuck in a safe rut! So look around in this first week of the new year and discover where you guys are doing it the same old, comfortable way and perhaps are a little afraid of something different…

Then take a reasoned step beyond the limits and see if the whole thing comes crashing down… (The whole point of the step-by-step approach is to prevent the explosive shift that tends to come after a decade of intransigence.) Instead, try a small (recoverable) first step.

As it turns out, conquering any fear makes the next fear seem just a little less daunting, unless you stop pushing… So feed that appetite and live on the edge!

For a great read on the subject: Alan Watts: The Wisdom of Insecurity. Written in 1973, it reads like it went to press yesterday. (Vintage Books)

“The ability to grow is directly related to the amount of insecurity you can take into your life.” — Caitlyn Jenner