Rise to the Role
“What got you here may not get you any further!”
Our childhoods are never far from our consciousness, even a lifetime later. We remember where we grew up, every suffered injustice, every insult, all the injuries and upsets, every slur. And even though we grow, move away, become more comfortable, and perhaps respected; we might not have allowed our internal viewpoints (especially our emotional viewpoints) to mature and evolve along with our external circumstances.
Have you seen a leader, an executive perhaps, or a politician who seems to have gotten mentally (or spiritually) stuck in his past? He’s here all right; but his behavior, style, tone, attitude and mindset are still firmly rooted in bygone times. The New Rank and the Old Mindset simply do not align. There’s a disconnect.
The beauty of our system is its fluidity of race, class, educational and gender boundaries. But in exchange for this freedom and fluidity, the trade-off is that one must allow for and engage the required maturation in style, attitude and loyalties which changing roles, classes, and education might demand. You can’t be a much of a parent while still hating your parents! You can’t be much of a leader, while carrying over an old hatred of leaders. You can’t be Chief Law Enforcement Officer while hating the Law. You can’t be an effective Leader while demeaning those you are supposed to lead. Of course not, but many people while growing up, find themselves deriding those above them: parents, supervisors, leaders.
Let’s say you are a swabbie. You hate your Captain, and try desperately to keep him in the dark. By some strange chance, you rise to Captaincy. So, you still hate Captains? Crazy! Or hate your crew? (Knowing so well how swabbies are.) Serving on your crew will be hell.
When you get promoted, your viewpoint should rise, along with your rank. If not, there’s no congruency between your rank and your attitude! And with incongruity, comes contempt between the Leader and the led.
For this reason, we often expect people to change how they dress when they change location, vocation, class, occupation, trade or rank. Often the Rank comes with the Promotion which precedes the Uniform, which often precedes and influences the Evolution in Mindset. Sometimes we have to “evolve quickly” into the Leadership.
In an ideal world, all three would happen instantly, but often the maturing happens slowly, unevenly and at its own pace, or not at all, resulting in that embarrassing disconnect (and failure) in the new Leadership role.
When the Leader holds those led in contempt, it’s not unusual for them to return the feeling. They’re not being led, they’re being demeaned, dismissed and disrespected. That will never do.
So, welcome to Leadership. To get off on the right foot, look at your personal style, your manner with colleagues and clients and make sure your perspective has genuinely risen to the role.
Applications
1. For You
New Role? Have you taken the time to consider how your attitudes, behavior and style need to evolve in order to fit this new rank and role? What worked when you were a Department Head is not going to play so well as a Leader. Maybe a talk with a company elder is in order, maybe a long weekend for some situation analysis about your direct reports, your departmental people and your relationships with the rank and file. They should respect you of course, and it wouldn’t hurt if they like you as well. But take your time at the beginning and understand what it takes to genuinely wear this new role.
2. For the Family
It’s different to be President of the Senior Class than just one of the students. And the degree of “Attitude” that plays as a classmate doesn’t wear so well in Leading a school assembly. So, when your kids start to make their way in the community, make sure they are ready and polished for the larger stage.
3. At Work
Moving Up? Maybe you need to seek a little private advice about looking like the polished Leader you’re becoming. There’s no room for running this organization like a Fraternity. Perhaps it’s time for you to sit down and do that “Vector Analysis” of all the Leaders with whom you’ll be interacting. Bob from Finance has a daughter with Diabetes. A quiet enquiry might be appreciated. Jan runs customer service and wants to run the place. Why not take her on as a young ally in training for leadership? Elise is a “droid” with an unearthly command of numbers. Make her a friend and tell her frankly, she’s on board to keep you out of financial trouble. Cut a deal with her to look out for her interests as she keeps you from reading anything incorrectly. With your strategy in place for every team member, you’ll make fewer missteps, and the new role will be a shoe in.
That “just a jock” behavior may have played well in college, but it doesn’t work at the top. Get your head in the game!
What got you here may not get you any further.
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