Mistakes… Handling of
It’s come to summer hiatus. So, let’s review! We’ve gotten a little sophisticated of late. During the next weeks, we’ll get “Back to the Basics” required in professional practice.
“Knocked down six times? Get up seven times!”
—Japanese Proverb
How Amateurs Handle Mistakes
Well, they don’t. Instead, they start with the intention that everything about the presentation will be perfect (absolutely following their every fantasy – including the impeccable timing of the standing ovation…). Then comes the mistake, and their perfect crystalline fantasy shatters – shards flying in all directions…
Instead of just handling the mistake and moving on, the amateur spends the next few tortuous seconds watching the fantasy fall away with evident disappointment and shock. (Believe me, it’s just as hard for the audience…) Mourning the lost fantasy bleeds off tremendous energy and when the speaker becomes once again aware of the audience, it’s almost impossible to re-establish the connection and chemistry – the spell has been broken. So, the speaker limps to a weak conclusion and slinks away – to the relief of all concerned. Of course, it’s hard to even contemplate getting up in front of an audience ever again.
All this stems from an impossibly high and completely irrational expectation of perfection. In reality, no presentation ever goes exactly as planned. Expecting perfection just sets up a disappointment.
How Pros Handle Mistakes
They expect them. They revel in their own human imperfection. They laugh at themselves and their mistakes. They recover well.
Pros know from experience that every presentation comes from the factory imperfect and complete with 2.5 mistakes. So they treat the mistakes the same as the rest of the presentation – by taking them in stride. A mistake is not a surprise, not a shock, not a failure – but a natural and to be expected part of the undertaking. So, one handles it, resets, and moves ahead. No tears, no self-criticism, no distractions. No broken dreams. And no significant break in the lifeline connection with the listener.
The professional has a different set of expectations – totally rational. Mistakes, are a natural part of life. The professional will greet each one as an old friend, respond in the loftiest way, and perhaps include the audience in the experience. In doing so, they will exemplify true professionalism… maybe even greatness. The Pro is acting as a steward for the audience, endlessly focused on them, and making sure that they get the best possible experience.
In contrast, the amateur – thinking only about themselves, tends to get thrown for a loss when the first mistake appears. They stop, and the inside critic red-lines with an overflow of self-abnegation; completely destroying the flow and focus. The second mistake totally wipes them out! Why? Because the amateur is thinking about themselves, about how they want perfection – they can’t face having been imperfect.
Back to Concept One: “It’s not about you. It’s about them!”
Going Pro
It doesn’t happen overnight, or perfectly. It’s a growth process, with lots of mistakes, ups and downs. But first comes the attitude and the expectation. Nobody’s perfect. There will be tons of mistakes and setbacks on this road. But with each setback, you learn about the imperative – to remain present in the moment with an unbroken connection between you and the audience – enjoying the show together.
A simple formula for dealing with mistakes:
- Notice it – with all its imperfections. Keep going! This is the simplest handling – for mistakes that only you will catch. For bigger challenges, resort to Steps 2 – 5. (You may not allow the audience to be “in” on this part.)
- Stop talking and Fix It! (Full attention on putting it right. The audience will notice it now.)
- Re-establish eye contact and pause momentarily while they all focus back on you – hold their glance.
- Here’s where you make a choice: Either a small look back at the disaster, waiting for the laugh – or you comment on the boggle – and enjoy the joke at your own expense. At this point, the laughter and the applause are in sympathy with you – and you can rise and fly on their regard…A humble pro, rising above adversity and enjoying the slings and arrows of outrageous staging problems. This is where some players rise from ordinary performers to loved and respected Professionals.
- Pick it up where you left off and take it to the finish!
Steps Two through Four are optional – depending on the magnitude of the mistake. Small mistakes are simply handled in stride. Big mistakes require the larger handling, and provide an opportunity for a larger gesture – a bigger save – with greater love from the appreciative audience.
We’ve known some conniving speakers to fake a mistake – in order to gain credit for their apparent “improvisational save.” We’re not impressed. Life hands out plenty of genuine opportunities to make the best of a situation on stage – and the true professional always makes the best of what fortune provides.
Think back on your life for a moment. Do you remember the steady, standard day-to-day flow of life, or the outrageous moments where something really big occurred? And the way you or someone else responded in a truly larger than life way? That’s our point: When Fortune hands you a big setback, it’s an opportunity for you to reach down and show a little greatness of spirit – and be remembered accordingly.
Getting knocked down gives you the opportunity to reveal your character as you get back up!
Applications in Life or Presentations
1. Personally
How has this worked for you? Ever had a bad moment, and responded equally badly? Conversely, had a bad experience and risen above it? Seen someone rise from the ashes?
2. At Home
One family member reacts badly to the flat tire, another responds with grace. With which one do you feel safe? Whom do you rely on for advice and counsel? It’s not just that some people respond to upset in a lofty way – it’s what they teach us about what is possible.
3. At the Office
Johnny Carson for us epitomizes the style of self-effacing professionalism in the face of flopped jokes, unresponsive interviewees and staging faux pas. To put yourself in that class of play requires a life of dedication. Start by becoming familiar with your tools: What can you do with a felt pen? How about a flip chart? It’s one thing to be able to letter beautifully, but another to be able to reset the chart in spite of a bad setup. Can you find the power bar for the laptop, the Wi-Fi code for the meeting, or the on/off switch for the microphone? Can you laugh at yourself and provide us with a model?
It’s not whether you make a mistake. Of course you will! The real test is whether, and how gracefully you recover.
Knocked down six times? Amateur.
Get up seven times! Professional.
Get up with style and humility? Leader!
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