Finding Cornerstones
“Turn left where the old oak tree used to be!”
– Anonymous
I asked directions on a country road in Louisiana. The old gentleman said, “Go down the road a piece, and turn left where the old oak tree used to be. Then go on ’bout five mile. You’ll meet up with the freeway presently!”
He was so matter of fact about it, that I had gone a “piece” before I realized I had no earthly idea where the old oak tree used to be! His landmark was REAL to him long after the actual tree was history. The memory had substance and meaning for him that no outsider could understand.
We use landmarks (trees, clock towers, buildings, etc.) to assist us in navigating from place to place, then to firmly locate ourselves once we’ve arrived (Hey. I’m in New York, at the Waldorf, under the clock!).
After a crisis, there’s physical damage of course, but that’s just the visible stuff. What’s perhaps more insidious is the damage you can’t see: the disorientation and the sense of hopelessness. As one of our neighbors said, “Katrina didn’t just f*** with our house, it also f***** with our heads!”
Noticing how debilitating it seemed when disaster overturned all the trees, clock towers and homes, it became slowly clear to me that the damage was not just physical, but intellectual and spiritual.
There was safety at risk, but also orientation (Where am I?), and certainty… (Who am I?). If the things we identify with are destroyed, our very identity can seem to be at risk as well.
It turns out, we “identify” with our physical, mental and spiritual landmarks, (We call them “Cornerstones”) and take some measure of our “personhood” from each – our work, our partners, our homes, towns, cars, industries and nation and when disaster strikes, many of our Cornerstones can be overturned, dislodged or destroyed – with powerful effect.
It’s the job of leaders, in the family, the town and the workplace, to put “Cornerstones In Place.” To explain the game to the players. To make it clear what we do here; what we stand for and how we play. Also, to re-install or recover Cornerstones after a crisis – when people desperately need to re-orient themselves – physically, mentally and spiritually.
What to do:
As an individual, the first challenge in life is to select your own Cornerstones which comprise your own unique point of view. What am I here for? How do I want to work, play and connect with others? Where do I choose to live? What is important to me? And how do I make this known to others?
As a family member, work to explain the Cornerstones to all the members; so they’re not just assumed, but really understood. (It’s the intangible Cornerstones that are sometimes the hardest to make clear.)
At work, seek to discover what the Cornerstones actually are! What do we do here? Why? For what kind of exchange? What style, attitude and methods make this place unique? What’s my “place?” How do I fit in?
As a manager, you are the Director of Orientation! “Here’s the game. Here’s how we do it. Here’s your role. Here’s what makes us special. Get to it!”
The hardest thing after a crisis is “getting back to it.” Establishing, re-discovering, maintaining and putting people in touch with the firm’s Cornerstones can help everyone find the oak tree!
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