Everybody Hates Training!
“Everybody hates training.”
An open letter to Steve Randall (and to Young Trainers)
I hated you and everyone remotely like you.
The directive: “You will report for training at the Morrison hotel on Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday promptly at 7:45 AM”.
Three days! Are you kidding? I’m supposed to supervise my accounts while out of the office in the middle of the workweek, and two days of travel as well?!?! Right then and there, I hated you! I hated training! I hated all the lame, stupid, repetitive, low echelon, dictatorial, one way, authoritative, mindless stuff that passes for corporate development. I hated your suit – the cut, color, brand, the fact that you were wearing it, the fact you – a foreigner from New York – were trespassing in my pristine Seattle; and I hated your haircut, your name, your job, and the plane that you rode in on!
So I arrived as ordered. Surly, dark, critical, withholding my commitment, curt and angry. My mind was elsewhere, thinking about the work back in the office, while we went through the preliminary introductions. (My spirit, of course, was somewhere people go when they don’t see the conflict – and the damage they do -when they send their body one place with mind and spirit somewhere else… But this isn’t about my transgressions…)
You noticed – damn you! – and slid in next to me on the break.
“Hi,” you said, “I can’t help noticing you appear to be a little uncomfortable being here…”
“Of course I am! I’m trying to run my accounts on remote and losing a week of productive time and money!”
And then, you miserable SOB, you said this: “Hey Jennifer, I get it. Your business has to get handled on the breaks, your clients are screaming, and this room is full of peers – anything can happen! This is a risky deal. While we’re about it, who the hell am I?”
Well, that stopped me.
Then you said, “Suppose we make a deal. You’re expected to be here anyway, what can I do for you? How can we make this time worthwhile for you?” At that moment, you became my ally. Three days later I had grown a ton, improved my style and expanded my approach to the work. And I respected the character of the man who took my tantrum neither personally or seriously. The guy I hated changed my life. I am forever grateful!
In an ironic, even beautiful twist, I became a trainer too, then founded a training consultancy…
And, I’ve become comfortable being the most hated person in the room.
As for you young trainers, new meeting facilitators or anyone doing group presentations – who are looking for love and warmth in the conference room. Forget it. The truth is, when people go to training/meetings, they revert to the worst aspects of childhood.
They come late. They arrive distracted. They enter the room reading their email while talking on their cell. They find a table and pull out the iPad while continuing on the other two devices. They show no respect as you enter the room to begin. When the place finally settles down, yielding to your insistence, they take their time about shutting down the devices… leaving one on buzz just to be uncooperative… Then comes the cat and mouse of introductions and objective setting. It’s dark, it’s stale, it’s cold and reserved as they feel you out. They know you’re a stuffed shirt with nothing to offer, and they’re not going to give you an inch or an ounce of respect. Face it, they hate you! Your job – to win their respect!
A little demoralizing perhaps? But tell me, what did you expect? You didn’t do your homework. You didn’t know who was in the room. You didn’t know their soft spot and you were surprised at their toughness. Shame on you! You got exactly what you created – and what you deserved. Wanna be a winner at running meetings or doing training? You’ve got to be ten steps ahead – and don’t take anything personally. All training is threatening; the best is life threatening. So it’s your job to remove the barriers and force them to be winners, in spite of themselves.
I hated Steve, and respect him. I’m doing my best to emulate him.
Next Tuesday morning at 7:45, you should too!
Get ready (and proud) to be the most hated person in the room.
1. Going to training? Do your best to find the beneficial parts. Give the trainer your best and toughest perspective. You’ll make the good ones better and drive the bad ones out of the business!
2. Doing training? Recognize that people feel pretty much the same way about visiting a car lot or the dentist. Plan for that and break out of the mold by starting from their point of view. Look for love after work.
3. Buying training? Don’t perpetuate the stereotype! Look for and buy the best! It can and will change the lives and careers of your people. The benefits don’t always come immediately, but they do come. Remember, management is for the life of the company, not for next quarter.
Do all this and you too may earn the title, “Most Hated!”
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